Are you a complainer and a permanent victim?
It’s the time of year when love is celebrated. Oddly my husband and I, even when he was my boyfriend, have never celebrated St. Valentines. I don’t know why. (Hmm, I seem to be losing an opportunity for a gift here.) Now that the focus is on relationships – yes once again (ever notice men magazine’s writing about how to keep your girl – no?) – and after seeing so many I hate Valentines posts, I am reminded of the ‘worst Christmas ever,’ ‘I hate Christmas,’ What’s the point of Christmas,’ comments posted on Facebook, what’s App, Viber and every other social media available. Of course being the sentimental person that I am; I was reminded of a previous time. I was seventeen years old and working at my first job, I constantly made statements such as I don’t like Christmas, it’s too commercialized or I don’t like red, or I’d like something simply for the sake of being trendy like Bvlgari – even though I’m not a fan of chunky jewelry, or I would say I loved Sushi although I can’t bare the taste of fish. A coworker of mine called me whinge whinge. It is a term which means someone who complains for no reason. The thing is I didn’t realize that I was a complainer!
As a result of someone teasing me, and informing me that I was a complainer it made me start analyzing why I said the things that I said. The truth was not pretty. I was alone, miserable, judgmental and craved attention. Those comments that I made were really my way of getting attention, any attention. Even though most of that attention resulted in whispers behind my back about what a misery guts I was. I didn’t realize that I was actually complaining because I needed attention, and I had no idea that positive attention actually existed.
I believe that we choose the life we live. And that conclusion was not derived from living a life that was handed to me on a golden platter. It was through a series of humbling experiences, loss of friendships, loneliness and generally a miserable, unhappy life. Honestly I really have no idea what I was thinking – was it that happiness was only for other people, or that I had to take what I got?
If you are always complaining about the world, maybe it’s time you have a look at your actions and see why is that?
If you are the forever the victim – poor me mentality – things always happen which are out of your control:
– ‘Car broke down when you’re on your way to work.’ But you were terrible at oil changes and car maintenance.
– You got dumped again, after one week of knowing someone and jumping into bed with them, you claimed they just used you for sex.
– The last person you dated turned out to be using you to finance all their purchases, but they didn’t have a job when you met them and had $10,000 worth of debt.
– You invited a young, immature, poorly behaved college student to your night out with your friends – you are 35 they are 22. They embarrassed you.
Basically what I am saying is – Really – you didn’t see it coming?
Forecasting is more than just a budgeting technique. In all of the above situations, the negative consequences were easy to foresee. There are consequences for every decision, and for every action. And consequence isn’t necessarily a bad thing – there are positive consequences too. Just have a think about what happened, why it happened and maybe how you can possibly prevent negative consequences in the future.